I hate when you lose your breath when your crying and people ask you what’s wrong and when you try to talk while your panting and sobbing you just sound and look like an idiot.
I’ve never seen a McDonalds or a Burger King under construction. They just show up.
Math is the only place where I hear a person buying 60 watermelons.
sodamnrelatable:
“Juan wants to buy 30 pounds of candy-“

“Jimmy, Jack, and Joanna want to split the fare to fly to Africa for the day—”

“I had 10 chocolate bars. I ate 9 of them. What do I have now?”
DIABETES, MAYBE?
let me reblog this again